Visit To New School

Spent yesterday at my new school.

Beginning to feel more at home now. The staff are brilliant! Everyone was introducing themselves and welcoming me to the fold. The kids were friendly and polite.

I can't believe how different things are here. I've been given my own office, brand new not quite state of the art laptop and a 128mgbit pen drive, and I'm not even officially employed until September!

I'm going to be teaching years 7 - 11 so quite a wide age range but I don't mind a bit of variety. My head of department is very nice and seems to have a good sense of humour so I should get on well with him. I've made friends with one of the Science teachers, the head of Religious Ed and the head of Business Studies, who is looking to me to help her out with the IT part of the course as her IT skills are 'crap'.  I have also made friends with the Leaning Resource Centre Manager who also happens to be Welsh and comes from a village about 20 miles away from the one I come from. Befriending the LEA Managers is absolutely essential as they will not only hide you if you need to escape for a bit but can get you practically anything you ask for.

Had my first school dinner there yesterday. The food is wonderful. Ten times healthier and tastier than the muck served up at my other place.

The one downer is that I've been put on the on call and social exclusion team. Apparently having survived a year in my last place they reckon I have all the skills and experience to be 'really good at it'. This means spending two halfdays a week in the social exclusion unit supervising the baddies and two halfdays a week collecting baddies from classrooms to take to the social exclusion unit.  Nice to have a rare skill isn't it. Lol!

Well the holiday starts here, and I cannot wait. I'm knackered.

Reflecting on the year

As it's now summertime and I will not be doing anything if I can help it I've decided to write up some of the other incidents that have happened during my time in the hell hole. Starting with a summing up of a typical week.

This from week beginning May 17th

The Lows

Year 11's completely off the wall. Broke into the locked fire damaged part ( yes they also tried to burn down the school. More on that story later) and started jumping out of the second floor windows onto the playing fields, giving everyone heart failure.

Also kicked in several light sockets disrupting power to the whole of the Maths block.

Threatened to water bomb my 'colleague from hell' and her classroom until I stepped in and asked them nicely to leave, they did. Much to my astonishment and my 'colleague from hell's' disgust. Not a drop of water was spilt and I save the school several thousands of pounds in new computer equipment.

colleague from hell comes rushing into my office brandishing a mobile she had just removed from a year 11 boy in the corridor. He was on his way to class, had nothing to do with her and so was justifiably miffed that 'colleague from hell' had swipped his prized possession.

"He was using it in the corridor and refused to get into class" she yelled at me.
"I'm not in your f@@@@@@ class, youth yells back."
"Go to your class and you can have it back at end of the day."
"Fuck you, tell her Miss!"

Now yours truly was desperately trying to keep out of this one so wasn't best pleased at this plea for help.

"errmmmm... who's class are you supposed to be in?"
"Don't know!"
"Oh come on! You've been in the school 3 years and you don't know where you are supposed to be?"
"Tell her to give me my f@@@@@@@ phone back or I'll deck her."

Before I could stop her colleague from hell goes.....

"Come on then! I'd love to see you expelled."
"Right I f@@@@@@ will and I'll trash the office too"
"come on then"
" right I will"

ETC, etc, etc.

I'm of course very alarmed by now as I know if he hits her I'll have to step in which means I'll probably get a smack as well. So I phone the head direct and tell him exactly what is happening accompanied by the sounds of a ranging argument in progress. Next thing I know all the burly blokes from the PE dept pile in and wrestle kid to ground. Head turns up and expels him on the spot.

Period five and all year 11's plus year 11 tutors are called to sports hall for emergency meeting where head threatens to expel the whole year if the behavior continues to end of week. Ooer!! He must be really pissed, expels five others during assembly for not listening. We wait in anticipation for tomorrow.

The Highs

Saw one of my year 11 classes for last time today. Up until now I've been enemy number one, now I'm the 'best teacher in the school' and they are going to 'miss you loads'. Got lots of hugs, kisses and cards. Awwww! Came over all weepy I did. Bless!

Strangled

To round up my time in the hell hole we very nearly had a murder on our hands. The craze amongst the year 9's at the moment is 'peanutting'. This is where they grab each others ties and tighten them to make them difficult to get off. One example of this went very wrong today and nearly resulted in a strangulation. A boy in CfH's class peanutted one of the girls but went to far and tightened the tie so much she began to turn blue. Panic set in when she and her friends could not loosen the tie and her eyes began watering. CfH is frantic and tries to rip the tie off which is only making things worse. We are not allowed things like scissors in the classrooms for health and safety so she has no means of getting the tie off. Luckily another year 9 boy manages to tear the tie away in the nick of time. Boy responsible for the peanutting is sent to head and girl is sent to medical room. 

Am I glad to be gone? You bet I am.

Sports Day

1pm Tuesday 20th July

Well it's sports day and the whole school is out on the field supposedly to cheer on their friends and teams. I'm on sciving duty, this means patrolling the edges of the field looking for escapees and smokers.

During the year nine girls relay race we have an accident, one of the girls falls badly and her ankle comes up like a balloon. I am drafted in along with a sixth former to get her to the medical room. We struggle off the field with girl hopping along supported by us on either side. As the medical room is the other side of the school this is going to take time. I have a flash of genius and decide to nick CfH's wheelchair. She is sitting with her tutor group in her wheelie walker thing. As I speed along I get hoot of laughter from other teachers all warning me of the dire consequences should I be caught. I accomplish my mission and park the chair back in out office without detection.

Halfway through the proceedings we are raided by the police. It appears that a year 10 boy has called the police to tell them that there is an armed man wandering around the school. The man is the PE master and the gun is the starting pistol he's using to get the races going.

Obviously sports days are more exciting these days than when I was at school.

Sickening

10.25 A group of year ten boys spent their science lessons splatting live frogs against the walls of the classroom. The teacher involved went to head who dismissed it as an 'end of term prank'. Unhappy with this the teacher then contacted the RSPCA who have now turned up at the school. Headmaster is livid that someone dared to bypass him and contact an outside agency. I would have thought he would have been livid that such cruelty taking place in his school, wouldn't you?

Arrggghhh!

8.25 Morning briefing and they've gone and done it again.! Management have decided to change the time table without telling anyone. Mass confusion reigns as teaching staff have been told one thing while admin staff have been told another. Result - cover is all over the place and no one really knows what they are supposed to be teaching or when!
 
Why on earth couldn't they have told us this on Friday to give us a chance to work out who's doing what and check for problems? Ahh I'll tell you why. Because everything in this place is done behind closed doors. As this timetable change affects everyone wouldn't you have thought they would have let everyone know in good time to point out problems? No that's not their style. They drop the bombshell just 15 minutes before it's due to be implemented and we are told to run with it. Unbelievable!
 
10.45 Well I have my year 10 GCSE class for the last time. Most are much nicer than normal because they know I am leaving. We sit and chat about what's happened during the year and I give them encouragement that even with a change of teacher they should do well in their GCSE's. I have a peaceful lesson for once and get a few hugs from the girls as they leave.
 
12.35 This altered time table is crazy! This is the class I hate most out of all the classes in the week.  They are all shits hell bent on giving me a hard time. It's as though the management have grouped all the worst kids together for a laugh. My only comfort is that I'm not the only one suffering at their hands.
 
3.15 Well the afternoon passed surprisingly well. There were no major incidents of note and the kids seem to sense I was in no mood to be messed with and so left me alone. Now if only the next two days are like today I'll laughing. However tomorrow is sports day so I wouldn't bank on it.
  

 

Friday 16th July

8.30 Once again I've escaped cover (getting suspicious about this) and we are told at morning briefing that girl causing problems yesterday has been internally excluded (huh?) and can the teachers of todays lessons provide work. I always hate being asked this as without a computer it is difficult for her to do any of my work. Still I pass on a planning exercise and hope it's enough.

10.45 First lesson of the day. The class is noisy but well behaved and as a treat I plan to let them have the last 15 mins playing on the internet as a goodbye present. Class is interupted by girl from yesterday who has escaped internal exclusion and has decided to attend my lesson. Out of all the free computers in the class (yes another school trip) she chooses the one that isn't working. Instead of moving to another computer she starts swearing at me informing me that my computers are 'fucking crap'. I tell her that if she wants to stay she must move to another computer and behave herself. She refuses to move so I contact on call to come and fetch her. All hell then lets loose. She throws the keyboard onto the floor, ripping the cord out of it as she does so and then stamps it to bits. Other students do try and stop her but she's beside herself with rage and starts pushing and hitting them. They, naturally enough, hit and push her back and before I know it I have a full scale brawl on my hands. I have no choice but to try and part them and end up on the floor trying to stop myself getting stamped on. It takes 40 minutes for help to arrive by which time things have calmed down and several students are bruised and in a state of shock. Girl has fled the classroom, no one knows where she is. We are all interviewed and several students confirm the assault on me. I point to the webcam and tell 'shit for brains bloody useless head of department' to view the recording if he wants to know exactly what happened. He informs me that webcam is no longer recording as the disk is full and he hasn't had time to sort it out. Without physical proof, apart from a grazed hand that 'could have happened anywhere', no action is taken and the matter is dropped.

11.55 Lesson two. This is my favourite year nine class, they have heard what happened and are very concerned. Several offer to find girl and beat her up for me. I thank them but reassure them that I am ok and I don't want them getting into trouble. I can't be bothered to teach so allow class to play on games for the whole lesson while I write up several incident forms. I get several hugs from the girls as they leave my class for the last time.

1.10 I am in the staffroom having lunch. Several teachers have heard about the incident and I get loads of sympathy and advice. All are outraged that the matter has been dropped and the first aider dresses my hand. As I take my plate back one of my year 10's (A huge lad) stops me and asks how I am. He then produces a terrified year nine boy that he's dragging behind him by the tie. I'm asked if this is the bastard that hurt me and if it is what do I want doing to him. I again stress I don't want anyone to get into trouble for me and confirm that it's not the problem child anyway. Ricky lets kid go but vows to avenge me. My bloody useless head of department is in the dining hall, along with several other members of the management team including the head. They see me coming and all avoid my gaze. I'm fuming.

1.30 I check my pidgeon hole and there is a large document in there which I am required to fill in as part of my exit interview. I read through it and am delighted to find sections such as 'What would make you reconsider leaving?' I am going to have fun with this! As I have no lessons Friday afternoon and don't intend to do anyone favours by taking emergency cover I hide in the library to fill in my form. I let rip and give then my full honest appraisal of the place, it does not make good reading. I have not been personal, my comments are pure, calculating and cold. I've analysed as I would a computer system, no emotion just facts. I hope they get the message.
I am shocked by one of the questions. 'Where are you going, how much are you getting paid and what benefits are you getting?' Cheeky buggers! I answer the question with the words 'None of your damned business!' OK not very professional but to the point. I decide to photocopy this document with a view to sending it on to the LEA and Ofsted as I'm so pissed off. I will not hand it in to the head until the last day of term, I do not intend to attend my exit interview.

And I still have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to go. I can only hope I'll survive in one piece.
 
So now I guess you have a really good idea of why I'm changing schools. As I said in a previous post I've had many a day like the ones just described. Unfortunately the management refuse to accept that there is anything wrong. I personally cannot see any circumstances where this school will not go into special measures at the next Ofsted inspection. Can you?

Thursday the 15th July 2004

Everything I am about to tell you is hand on heart true. Only the names have been change to protect the 'innocent'.
 
8.45 No briefing today, obviously no one has been expelled, on the plus side no one's coming back in either. Even better I have escaped cover duty again!

9.15 I have my last lesson with one of my favourite year nine classes. I allow them to have a free lesson playing on the Internet. The lesson passes peacefully and I get a few hugs as they leave.

10. 40 I am having an extended tea break with four other teachers who are also leaving. We spend a happy hour playing the 'if I were in charge' game. I am rudely interrupted by one of our teaching assistants who has discovered by chance that the IT office is unlocked and unattended. I panic a bit as all our servers are in there but more important so is my bag containing my car keys, credit cards, money and phone. We arrive to find office still empty. I do a quick check, Nothing has been damaged or stolen. I stay put and ball out techie when he returns from wherever. We both then realise that techie two (the sackee) still has keys. We report this to head who 'will investigate'.

1pm Lunch. I have forgotten my sarnies and so venture to the canteen for a school dinner. Don't even go there!

1.50 My year 10 class. I have six today as three have been returned from work experience as they are losing the business they were place at customers. I tell the class if they don't bother me I won't bother them. They agree to this and are as quiet as lambs as they surf the net. However the peace does not last long. There is a screaming from next door and I hear CfH (colleague from Hell) calling 'Mrs Jones! Mrs Jones!' I open my door to be greeted by the extraodinary sight of CfH being dragged up the corridor by a year nine girl who is threatening to 'fucking kill the bitch'. It appears that girl walked into her class and without any provocation beat a year nine boy over the head with her school bag. Girl wasn't even supposed to be in CfH's class! CfH decided to confiscate said bag but girl isn't having any of this, CfH wraps bag strap around her wrist and refuses to let go, girl also grabs strap and refuses to let go. CfH is disabled and so sits in a wheeled walker contraption and because of this has been unable to stop girl from dragging her out of the class and into the corridor at which point I entered the fray.

Cfh is dragged up the corridor to a set of heavy double doors. She jams CfH's walker against the wall and starts using one of the doors to beat the walker in an attempt to make CfH let go. She doesn't and I have no choice but to wade in. I call fo help on my mobile and stress that if someone doesn't arrive quickly then CfH might sustain serious injury. Thankfully the swearing and shouting in the background convinces them of the seriousness of the incident and three burly male colleagues are swiftly dispatched. I enlist my year 10's to help by asking them to prevent any other year nines from entering the corridor and also to keep an eye on CfH's class. The last thing I want is for girls friends to pitch in.

Male collages arrive and it takes the combined force of all four of us to part the fighting pair. Girl is off to head's office, CfH is checked over by first aiders and I then take her to her car to ensure she is safe as girl has threatened to 'get my mates on you'. 
 
On the way home I realise I'm supposed to be teaching girl periods 3 and 4 tomorrow. I hope she is excluded or I'm toast. 
 
And if you think this is bad wait for Friday.

Ok I'd better start explaining.

Why, you may ask, have I decided to keep a record of my time in my new teaching post? Well the answer is very simple, I regret bitterly not having keep a formal record of my last year in the hell hole they call a school that's why.
 
If I have to go through another year like the last not only will I end up in the funny farm but will make sure I take those responsible with me. Unfortunately without a formal record, apart from numerous e-mails I was unable to do so with my present school. And if every a school needed the whistle blowing on it this one does.
 
All I can do is relate my last few days an hope you get the picture. I do have some records of other days there that I can post here, and may well do during the summer just so they are recorded somewhere.
 
So where do I start. Ok how about Wednesday 14th July. My day went something like this.
 
8.45 Arrive at work completely pissed off because I'm late due to roadworks. This means I have missed the morning briefing. I enjoy the morning briefing as it's the time when we find out who has been expelled in the last 24 hours. On the plus side it means I've also missed the pleasure of wheeling collegue from hell over half the campus to get there.  I'll have to describe her to you in detail at a later date).

9am I go to staff room to see if I've been put on cover today. I haven't and breath a sigh of relief, the first uninterupted free I've had in a week. Only not quite. Collegue from hell has left her glasses at home and nips off to get them without telling anyone. I just know that I will be phoned when they find out to cover until she gets back. I take evasive action by first hiding in the library and then in the loo and finally the canteen.

9.30 Collegue from hell is back on site and it is safe to go back to the office where techie one and techie two are having a 'professional' disagreement. I go back to the library.
 
10.45 My only lesson of the day. No one has bothered to tell me that all the year 10's are on a trip. I have 2 out of 30 in my class and I'm fuming. I will spend the whole day in school for the sake of two pupils, I should have stuck to my instincts and taken the day off.

11.30 Seems techie one has fallen out with techie two but I don't know this as I'm still in my lesson. Techie two decide to stir (he's new and knows shit but thinks he's God's gift to IT) he comes into my lesson and informs me that techie one has accused me of messing with the servers and is about to report me to the head. I am surprised at this as I know that techie one knows that I no longer have a password to the servers. (as soon as I resigned I told tech one to change the server passwords and not tell me what the new ones were. I wanted to protect myself against such and accusation).

11.50 Lesson ends and I find techie one and relay the accusation. I am told that it was a set up as some secrets are being leaked and techie one wanted to know who had the big mouth. Techie one had give techie two this information in confidence with express instructions not to tell me as I was under investigation. Techie two immediately came and told me, blowing his chance of staying put. He has been asked to leave. Ohps!

2.15 New Head of Department comes to find me to do dept handover. I am in office with collegue from hell. I am unawared that CfH and HoD have had 'words'. As soon as he pokes head around the door CfH starts bellowing at him and ends the bellow with a 'fuck off out of my office'. he does, I don't get to do my handover AGAIN!

3.15 Escape.
 
Now this is par for the course, a normal day. Wait till you read about Thursday.
 

Welcome To My Blog

Hi and welcome to my blog.
 
I have recently secured a new teaching post and thought it would be fun to record how I get on in my new school.
 
I hope you will enjoy reading about all my trials and tribulations.

Why are Sunday's Boring?

Well mine are usually as it's the one day I get to do the housework.
 
Relaxed last night watching Shrek on DVD. Haven't seen it since I took the kids to the cinema when it first came out. I must say it's good but not that good. I was irritated by the fact that Donkey not only had Eddie Murphy's voice but looked like him too!
 
Been planning our holiday (yes I know it's a bit late but we tend to like the get up and go on a whim approach) and are favouring a drive around northern Italy. At the moment we cannot decide whether to fly and hire there or use the tunnel and drive down through France and over the alps. I don't care as long as I can put as much distance between me and my present school as possible.
 
I guess I'll need to explain why I'm leaving at some point but that will come later.
 
As it was a (relatively) dry afternoon hubby persuaded me to join him in a bit of Geocaching in the local woods. If you've never tried this you must, it's tremendous fun. It's a sort of electronic treasure hunt. You follow clues, printed off the website, and these clues give you a map co-ordinate of where the treasure is. When you find it you can then write your comments in the note book and leave a little present for the next person.  It makes an ordinary walk in the country seem so much more fun. Two and a half hours passed in a blink of an eye this afternoon and the kids loved it, which is always a bonus. This afternoons jaunt was to find three pieces of treasure. You get the clues for the last cache by finding the first two. I was really pleased when I found the last piece of treasure from the clues alone and not by using his fancy GPS tracker thingy. I hope we will do a bit more of this during the summer, at least it gets us out of the house and into the fresh air.
 
All the fresh air has made me tired though. I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with a bottle of wine and feet up in front of the TV.